Before and After

This sleep thing is starting to get easier.  I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

 

So, Cory and I are to the point where we are dangling the family vacation in front of the kids.  We told them that if they keep going down the path that they are currently on, we won’t be going to Disney World in December.  So far it has worked.  Haylie only has one more chance.  If she’s caught stealing or in a big lie then she’s not going.  She stole Kevin’s money and then lied about having it.  She didn’t confess and give up the money until they were at John’s (the therapist) and Cory threatened to take away Disney World.  That same night Kevin gave Cory a piece of paper from the school saying he got in trouble again.  This time he elbowed a kid in the stomach because he wouldn’t be quiet.  He never even asked the boy to be quiet.  The school punished him with an in school suspension and didn’t let him go on the class field trip that day.  That’s when Cory just told him that if something like this happens again he won’t be going to Disney World with us.  If it ends up being that both kids don’t get to go, Cory and I are going to try to find a sitter and he and I will go somewhere just the two of us.  We never did go on a honeymoon.  Kevin never did finish his apology letter or essay by the deadline so Cory extended his grounding by a week and said that for every day the essay is past due 100 words will be added.  He’s up to 1300 words so far.  His punishment from us regarding the elbowing is to just write about it in the essay.  We think he was punished enough at school….maybe even a little excessively.  I really don’t want to have to take Disney World away so I hope they think about that before they do something stupid again.

 

I was told by 3 people that they didn’t think that I could get to my weight loss goal of 135 pounds.  135 was where I was at ever since high school and the first half of my Army career.  I gained 45 pounds once I got out and for the last 3 months or so I’ve been holding steady between 146 and 150 pounds.  It’s been about a week since I found out that this 3^rd person didn’t think I could do it.  I know it’s not much but I am holding steady between 144 and 146 pounds.  I haven’t gone over 146 in a week and it’s the first time I’ve dipped below 145 pounds.  I am determined now more than ever to reach my goal.

 

It’s really neat to walk outside my CHU and see nothing but orange.  That’s what happened this morning.  There was a nice dust storm going on and it was turning everything orange.  Work is fine.  Still can’t talk about it but it’s really annoying when people try to undermine your work.  I hate working with stupid people.

 

I thought I’d make a before and after picture of me.  I can’t believe how much of a difference 35 pounds can make!

Sleep is eluding me.

They say that months 6 through 9 of a one year deployment are the toughest.  I’m inclined to believe this.  I’m sad and depressed all the time and I haven’t been sleeping.  Case in point, it’s 2330 and I’m not even tired.  When I’m finally able to fall asleep it’s very fitful.  I wake up feeling like I haven’t even slept.  I’ve read, but I still can’t seem to shut my mind off.  I work out almost every day and I work out HARD!  Just today I ran 3.5 miles in 25 minutes.  I don’t know what else to do to help me fall asleep.  I AM doing better today than I was yesterday.  Yesterday just sucked all around…my last blog can attest to that.  Thank you, Melissa for your wonderful comment.  It made me smile.  I tried calling again to no avail.  I probably won’t be able to try again until this weekend.  Ok, it’s time to try falling asleep again.  I’m yawning, which is a good sign.  We’ll see.

What's the point!?!?!

At the beginning of my deployment I thought that writing this blog would be a great way to keep my family informed about what I’m going through over here.  I don’t have a lot of free time so I don’t have time to write to everyone individually.  I thought a blog once a week or so would be perfect.  Well guess what?  No one reads these stupid things!!  My husband and my friend Heather are my two loyal readers, and Heather is deployed over here herself!  My mom, my cousin and my friend Melissa will make an occasional appearance, but other than that NO ONE from my family even bothers to read them.  So I ask you, WHAT’S THE POINT!!!!???

It's Kevin's turn...unfortunately

Another week down.  This past week has been pretty uneventful here.  I’m still acting squad leader and that is going fine.  I really wish I could talk about my job.  Some things happen that really irritate me and it would help to vent.  I’ll just say this, it really sucks when something goes wrong and we get blamed for it when we had absolutely nothing to do with it.  Vague, I know, but I really can’t get into it.

 

Weight loss issue is still kind of the same.  I’m back down to 146 from 150 so that’s good but I still can’t get below 146.  I’m gaining muscle which is good but it’s a psychological thing with me.  I associate getting thinner and losing fat with weight LOSS not weight GAIN even though I know I can gain weight and still lose fat and inches, but if I don’t see it reflected on the scale I get discouraged.  I’m starting to do an abs workout that actually uses one of the weight machines.  I missed the sore muscles the day after a good workout so my platoon sergeant taught me this new workout.  Boy does it work!

 

My mom sent me a link to a YouTube video of Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent.  She was singing ”I Dream A Dream” from Les Miserables.  I was absolutely floored when she opened her mouth to sing!  It’s one of my favorite songs from that musical and it was awesome to hear it done so beautifully.  I hope she makes it all the way on that show.  Here’s the link if you want to check it out:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

 

So, it’s Kevin’s turn this week to get grounded.  He started a fight at school last Thursday at recess.  They were in line to head back inside when Kevin purposefully knocked a ball out of a boy’s hands.  After the boy retrieved it he tried to get back in his spot in line.  Kevin then pushed him back out of line which made the boy end up pushing Kevin back.  Kevin grabbed the boy’s shirt and then the boy punched Kevin in the arm.  Both boys received an in school suspension for the rest of the day.  Here’s the kicker, Kevin waited until AFTER the holiday weekend to tell anyone.  Tuesday night Kevin left the piece of paper he needed a parent to sign on Cory’s pillow just before he went to bed.  So Kevin technically didn’t “”tell” anyone.  Cory found it after midnight when he finally decided to go to bed.  The school called the next morning saying Kevin never turned in the paper.  Cory told them that he had just found out about the incident that morning which got Kevin into more trouble at school.  Kevin comes home and says, “”Thanks, Dad!  I got into more trouble at school because of what you told them.”  Sorry, Kevin, but you should have given Dad the paper when you were supposed to the day you received it, not 6 days after the fact.  That last little part is almost laughable.  Kevin blames his Dad for him getting into trouble at school.  Anyways, he’s grounded for 4 weeks and has to write a 1000 word essay on what he did, what the consequences were, what he learned (if anything), etc.  He also lied to the therapist when he asked Kevin if he was hiding anything or had lied about anything recently.  So we are making him write an apology letter that he has to read out loud the next time they go to John’s.  You know, it’s not very often that Kevin screws up so I almost feel bad for punishing him.  ALMOST.

 

Hmmm, what else…..Oh, I got some really cute pics of the kids when they went up to Omaha for Easter.  Well, actually, Cory got them and put them on Photobucket but you know what I meant.  I heard they had fun and got to see some family which is more than I can say for me.  It didn’t feel like a special day.  It felt like just another ordinary day.  Depressing.  

Kevin's fake smile

Haylie and her Easter loot

The architect

There's that smile again

Looking for eggs

Sharing the loot

Messy Mouth Kevin

Awww, how cute

Cowgirl Haylie

Miley in a Miley box

Sneaky Haylie

SGT Ahmed is on leave and I am filling in as squad leader while he’s gone.  So far it hasn’t been that bad.  I’m not quite sure what I was expecting.  Maybe it was for everything to hit the fan and I would be found incapable of handling it.  Well, so far so good.

 

Back at home things have been kind of interesting.  Cory recently put a chain and a lock on our refrigerator and freezer.  We discovered that Haylie had been getting up at 0630 and instead of getting ready for school she was going downstairs for a half an hour and playing on the counter tops and rummaging through the fridge and freezer.  Kevin bought some ready-to-bake cookies with his own money and when Cory went to make some he discovered that there were only 4 left out of 48.  Haylie of course denied it but they went to John’s later that evening (John is our family therapist) and she confessed there.  In less than a week she had eaten 44 of the ready-to-bake cookies!  After that day Cory started setting his web cam to start recording once it senses movement.  We were able to catch her red handed.  That’s when Cory went to go get the chain and lock.  The next day Haylie tried, in vain, to figure out the lock combination.  She is now doing all of Kevin’s chores on top of her own for the next 2 weeks to try to make up for eating his cookies.  The little stinker is also grounded for something else she pulled last week.  Kevin had asked Cory if him and his friends could walk to the gas station that’s down one of the main roads a bit.  Cory said No because there is a certain age kids have to be before they can be seen walking anywhere on post without an adult.  That age is 12 and Kevin doesn’t hit that until August.  All of this was said in front of Haylie.  Well, all little later when Cory goes to call the kids in for dinner, he can’t find Haylie.  She’s pulled a stunt like this before.  We called the MP’s once because we couldn’t find her anywhere.  Turned out she was caddy corner across the street at some girl’s house we had never even met before.  This time she was in an entirely different circle from ours, on her way with“”friends” to the gas station.  When asked what she was thinking she said she just wanted to go so she was going to go.  Good old fashioned disobedience at its finest.  Needless to say, she’s not allowed outside anymore for awhile.  Ok, I think that’s enough on those topics.

 

I’ve been having fun lately shopping online for Haylie’s birthday.  She’s pretty much getting a whole new wardrobe from me.  Actually it’ll probably be from both me and Cory since I spent so much.  She’s going to go nuts over these outfits.  They are so cute! 

 

That’s really about it.  Work is the same and I still can’t talk about it.  OH!  I am no longer on a permanent profile!  I went in to see about getting off of it last week.  The doctor asked me a bunch of questions and then went over my profile and determined that it would be ok if I got off of it.  I’m so excited to see how far I’ve come on the next PT test.